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December 14th, 2009
02:58 pm - Holiday Cheer
It's really quite humorous, my current job situation.
I had a perfect job, but that office closed. Not my fault.
I got a new one that paid pretty well and had a pretty nice schedule to go along with it, like the last one. But I quit because I just couldn't handle what it required me to do. That one was my fault.
I got a new one that paid shit and has a schedule of like four hours a week. Then I got a second one because Alan kept pointing out that that wasn't going to pay the bills. The second one I really wanted, even though it was also going to pay shit. On my first day heading to it, I got a new job offer that would give me an okay schedule (five days a week, at least) and would also pay shit, but it was a steady job. I had to turn it down because I was on my way to my new job for the first time. My fault too. Completely. I could have just not gone to the new job, the second one. Then I wouldn't have to be stuck at this four-hour-a-week one, either, because it was a transfer within company.
So I showed up at the second one, where they informed me this was simply a holiday position, and I would also be working only one day a week. And then I'd be gone by January.
But they let me go a few days ago because they couldn't afford to have me there anymore.
So I'm back to one job. Four hours a week at minimum wage.
I walked into Borders the other day to ask for an application. They told me to go online and fill it out there. So I went online today, where the website told me to go back to the store. Not wanting to walk back into the same store a couple days later and be like, "Dur, I can't find it. Please give me a job," I called instead. They explained that they're no longer hiring for the holidays. I figured. Nobody is.
The best part of all is that all of this really pisses Alan off. I actually considered lying for a few weeks and just pretending to go to work so I wouldn't have to tell him I was fired.
Now I understand why grown-ups hate the holidays.
Oh yeah...and that one class I need to graduate...that's closed. Haha. Alan's made it pretty clear he'll be kind of pissed if I'm not in class this semester. I could be done by now; that's my fault, too.
Current Mood:  morose
Current Music: the fan
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November 28th, 2009
09:38 pm - Benefits, a Very Bad Book, and Some Funny Dreams
My new job is so much better than my old one.
At the old job, if I found out I didn't have to be there, I would leave instantly. Or, if I were somehow forced to stay there, I'd be looking at my watch every five minutes.
At the new job, I did walk in there the other day (the day before Thanksgiving), a day I would normally be scheduled, and find that I actually was not scheduled that day. Though, instead of instantly walking out to return to my husband (who did have the whole day off and thus could make this a very pleasant day for me), I decided to stay and work for four hours or so.
It was five hours before I finally looked at my watch for the first time. Thinking that only one or two hours must have gone by at all, I was very surprised to see that it had been five. So far all they're really having me do is stock shelves, shrink-wrap DVDs, label others...there's no thought involved, and it becomes sort of like when you're driving and just get from one location to the other without realizing it. I find it incredibly cathartic, which is wonderful for somebody who is constantly as stressed as I tend to be. I just hope it continues this way.
Oh, so I finally read Twilight, just so that I can actually tell people who suggest that I read it that I have read it and it is every bit as awful as I've heard. I've now explained this three times out loud so I don't currently feel like writing out all of the reasons for that, though if anyone comments and asks for them I can write a new entry about it shortly. I just feel, now that I've read it myself, it will be better for me to express my own opinions about it rather than simply what I have heard from countless others.
( The other night I had a dream... )
Current Mood:  relaxed
Current Music: "You're My World" - Helen Reddy
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November 18th, 2009
07:28 pm - Good News and Bad News
I have good news and bad news. Today I started the seasonal job with the perfect hours at the video store. It was as fun as I had hoped, and, at least for now, easy, too. That's the good news.
However, as I was about to leave for this job, I got a call from my other job, the one I'd realized I would not be able to quit. Looking forward to telling them that I would not be able to work today (since I figured they were calling me in), I picked it up. Instead they were telling me that I am about to be let go from that other job because they don't have any hours for me and there's nothing for me to do there anyway. I'd been partially expecting that. So that leaves me with two days and 12 hours a week at a job I really, really like but which there is not much chance of keeping after January. Somewhat bad, somewhat good, as I really wanted out of the other place anyway.
Then Old Job told me that they have another position available for me. This one is permanent (doing what, I do not know) and 28 hours a week (with a three-day weekend included!). This one does require me to go to bed at 8 and get up at 4 again. I don't like the stress involved with that. It's depressing, something I really don't need to add on right now.
I don't care about money at all; my choice would have been entirely with the job that has the great hours and would make me happy. Choosing the other place is all for Alan. I told my old boss (who would be my new one) that I'd call him back before the end of the day and let him know. Finally, after talking to Alan, I decided to call him back and tell him I would work for him.
Though now he's not calling me back, so I think it may be too late and I lost out on this job, anyway.
...For a moment I was sad about the no three-day-weekend, and then I remembered the other job gives me a five-day-weekend and the better hours, so...oh, well.
Maybe I'll check into Barnes and Noble and see if they have any seasonal positions available, too. Maybe I can collect seasonal jobs, one of which will hopefully keep me when the season is over.
It was kind of nice the way it supposedly went down at Old Job: Rachel (my old supervisor) told me that our boss (Debbie) is going to be letting me go since she has no hours for me, and she was discussing this with Dann, our old boss who now manages the sushi/smoothie place on campus, and he said, "Send her to me; I'll take her."
I'm so happy to be getting out of the cafeteria, too. I cannot tell you how stressful it is when you have nothing to do and have to stand around for five hours hiding from the bosses and pretending to look busy when you aren't. I knew it wasn't necessary for me to be there, so it only made sense that they'd get rid of me soon. Just good I didn't have to quit.
Current Mood:  pensive
Current Music: "Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me" - Oingo Boingo
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November 16th, 2009
12:51 pm - What's New? (Various Stories)
What's new? We went to the mall on Saturday with Alan's brother Jeremy and his wife Natalie and their kids. Our niece Katie would not let go of my hand all day; it was kind of cute. The first thing she said to me was, "I really, really like holding your hand." Hehe. Later she told me that she had a toy peacock (her favorite animal) named Tweety.
"I think there's another bird somewhere named Tweety, but I'm not sure," she said.
I told her there is, but suddenly I could not remember where Tweety came from. I said, "Maybe...Sesame Street?"
"No," she replied, "no, I don't remember there ever being a bird named Tweety on Sesame Street."
"I think you're right," I said.
"I am," she said, "there was never a Tweety on that show."
Finally I had to turn around and ask Alan where Tweety came from, because I could not remember. He told me, and when I told Katie that Tweety comes from Looney Tunes, she said, "I've never heard of Looney Tunes."
She just turned 8. Still, this is somewhat disturbing.
The other day I was at the bus stop at school and overheard some girls talking. One said, "Every time I get in a fight I have some of my hair pulled out. It's a wonder I'm not bald." This girl had to have been at least 20, from the look of things. So the fact that she was talking about the fights that she seems to have so frequently was just disgusting to me in its stupidity. Who gets into fights at 20 years old? Except for this girl, apparently.
Oh yeah, so at work the other day some of my co-workers were asking if I have any kids. I told them no, never, which seemed to surprise them. They said, "Well what would you do if you got pregnant?" Instantly I replied, "Abortion."
The guy who calls me Raccoon Eyes said, "What!? You would kill a human?"
"Yes I would," I said.
"What!? So what would you do if you did believe that abortion was killing a human?"
"Abortion," I said. I mean, what a stupid question. What difference does that make? I don't believe abortion is killing a human, so why would that idea stop me?
"So you don't believe in God?" they asked me.
"No I do not," I said."What!?" They could not seem to grasp this concept. In fact, one of them told me she had never met someone who didn't believe in God, which made me think she must not have come into contact with many people in her lifetime, because otherwise, there had to have been at least one before. Oi weh.
Yesterday I went to my parents' house to be yelled and ranted at by my father for about an hour and a half. Some of this was, of course, about the fact that I am an atheist, or, more accurately, an agnostic, but I don't think that difference matters to him. My dad is one of those people who seems to believe that all atheists are haughty jerks who try to push their beliefs on others. We have no feelings or morals, apparently. While I agree that those people definitely exist, I also understand that assholes exist in all types of groups--it's not just atheists.
Also, as an atheist, I don't have morals pushed on me by a god or gods; I just understand that morals are already there whether we want to believe in them or not. I'm one of those who believes in them, regardless of what my father says.
I also can't just choose to believe in something (god, for example) that I don't believe in and which does not make any sense to me. I'm sorry if that offends people who do believe in it.
( I had another odd dream the other night. )
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November 12th, 2009
12:45 pm - Two Jobs--Highlights and Lowlights
Yesterday I actually got a job that I want working at a movie store. Unfortunately, it is just a seasonal position, which means I only get like one day a week, and it all ends around January. Also, I cannot quit my other job, which is entirely shitty and which I was greatly looking forward to leaving. So now I have two minimum-wage positions for a total of less than 20 hours a week.
I've got one boss at the cafe who seems like she might be nice and all, except she tends to be rather spastic. She's shown me how to do tables twice, two different ways both times. In fact, the first time she came up to me and said, "I don't know who showed you how to do tables, but you're doing it completely wrong."
I started doing it the second way that she showed me, and I'd been doing it that way for a couple days when one of my supervisors approached me to inform me that that way was also wrong and I should have been doing it the first way all this time.
And for those who have not yet heard, here is "the ketchup story" that Alan says I need to just forget about. A supervisor told me to put ketchup on all the tables. So I went looking for the little ketchup packets. There were none, so I went back and asked her if that was actually what she had said, since it didn't really make sense to me anyway. She said, "No, I said you could help catch up on all the tables."
"Oh, well I'm glad I double-checked, then," I said.
Two days later, I had to go work at the other store for a few hours, and my previous supervisor looked at me and said, "What is this I hear about you putting ketchup on tables?"
So I already know they're talking about me behind my back. (Also, let me just point out that this girl completely pronounces "catch up" as though it has an 'e' in it, so I'm not taking the blame for the stupidity in that one.) I just want to get out of this fucking place.
I've got another boss who, when I look at him normally and smile and say hello, he glances at me, barely nods, and turns the corners of his mouth ever-so-slightly as though it is painful for him. Because of course, acknowledging a minimum-wage employee has to hurt quite a bit when you're so high up there.
Seriously, I really can't stand this and tend to just try and remove my mind from the situation like I learned from Westley in the book version of The Princess Bride.
In slightly more uplifting work news, I had one customer look at me behind the line as I put food on his plate and tell me, "It's nice to see someone pleasant back there."
Then I had a co-worker very blatantly look me up and down before telling me that I looked nice. I was in a t-shirt that showed my stomach a bit and which I mainly wear because it makes my boobs look bigger.
Oh, and the next day while walking through a parking lot I had two actually hot guys in a car slow down and send me a "Hel-lo!"
So at least I know I've still got some feminine wiles there somewhere.
Oh yeah, and another co-worker, that same day as the other comments, came up to me and said, "You have raccoon eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?"
I liked how the girl working next to me instantly replied, "You have girl eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?"
He claims it was a compliment. "Have you ever seen a raccoon at night with its squinty little eyes looking into the headlights? Like that."
Really I just found it incredibly ironic because, ever since I was a small child, people have commented on how exceptionally large my eyes are. I've never heard about how small they were before. Weird.
( Had an odd and rather creepy sort of dream the other night... )
Current Mood:  cold
Current Music: "I May Hate You Sometimes" - The Posies
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November 9th, 2009
10:10 am - Mystery Solved
Dude! So this one time when I was like 7 I saw a movie on Disney that I always wanted to watch again and never did see again. I never knew what the name of it was. All I knew was it was about trolls. And to this day I still have a very vague mental picture of the bridge with the troll under it...I can barely see them. But that's not enough to find a whole made-for-TV movie from the '80s.
Anyway, a couple nights ago I was watching something where one of the characters mentioned Sam Waterston, which was a name I knew I recognized from somewhere and didn't know where. I made a mental note to check IMDB next time I was online.
I just checked. I still have no idea what else I know him from, but as I scanned his filmography and came across the title The Boy Who Loved Trolls from 1984, instantly I just knew I had finally found that damn thing. My mind went to that image I have of the troll under the bridge and he just fit so perfectly; I was astounded! I probably wouldn't even want to watch that movie today, but I'm so happy I found it! It really sucks having these memories of things you watched on Disney in 1980-something that no longer play anywhere but only having a second or two and nothing to find it by.
While relieved, I am also currently on pins and needles waiting for work to call me in even though I'm not scheduled today, because I just know they're going to (since they did every single day last week that I wasn't supposed to work).
Current Mood:  nervous
Current Music: "Save Me" - Remy Zero
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October 28th, 2009
08:09 pm - Pointless Updates
I really hate how, when I tell stories to people about my nieces or nephew, they look at me all knowingly and say, "See? You really do like kids!" Just so you know, liking the members of my own family does not automatically make me like children.
With that said, we went to St. Augustine with Alan's family the other night (Friday) with our nieces and nephew. I do think it's really cute how, every time we see Caitlyn (I think that's how she spells her name--she's 8, by the way), she comes up to me and waits a couple minutes before saying, "Do you know that I really, really like you?" Her mom Natalie says I'm her favorite. That is cute. It's like having a fan.
We took the kids to St. Augustine and went to the playground where I got to ride the swings, which did not make me sick as they did the last time I rode on them, the see-saw, and the carousel! It was fun. At one point Caitlyn said to me, "It's okay, Aunt Ashley, you can go down a slide; I saw another grown-up go down one a few minutes ago."
Being thought of as a "grown-up" was a little jarring and not altogether pleasing, but I won't dwell on that because I'm sure nobody here would agree with me.
At one point while riding in the back of Alan's parents' car, we were discussing Halloween costumes. I have still not decided what I'm going to wear. His mom said I should just be Princess Leia again, since I "already have that slave girl costume." I turned to him and started making sexy faces at him because I think being in his parents' car made him uncomfortable and really amused me.
The next day I went out to lunch at the Outback with my mom. That was really nice too, and quite yummy. We also went shoe-shopping and I tried on many boots, and ultimately ended up buying a pair online of which I am currently awaiting the arrival. I just want to know if they'll fit or not so I can take them back and start looking for more if they don't!
So it was a good weekend. Oh god--and I have stories from class on Monday. Remember James Dean Girl? The one who didn't fucking know who James Dean was? Oh man, this is good. So my teacher is talking about our upcoming field trip to the juvenile detention facility, and telling us girls how we should dress conservatively. He said, "A few of you are dressed less than conservatively right now--you know who you are so I won't say anything--but you know who you are."
I'm wearing my work clothes. Pretty much every other girl is too, except James Dean Girl, who is wearing shorts to her ass and a shirt cut into her breasts. She looks around the room after a moment and says, "Wait a minute--who are you talking about!?" This was said in a manner to show that she definitely knew he was referring to her. It was just rather asinine.
Oh yeah, so then we were talking about gangs, which was the subject of the lesson for the night. Teacher was demonstrating a couple of gang symbols, and he showed us Black Power.... After a pause she said, "Wait a minute, Black Power? What about White Power!?"
A guy I am semi-friends with, Mike, replied, "Well, there was the 1930s, with 'seig heil'.... You might remember it." Priceless. She never responded to that one.
The teacher wanted to be sure that all of us knew what the suffix "-cide" means. He gave some examples (homicide, suicide, infanticide, etc.). She said, all wide-eyed, "You mean infanticide means killing a child!?" Teacher explained how "infanticide" has the entire fucking word "infant" in it, and yes, yes it does mean that.
Oh, I'm starting a new job next week. I'll be working at the cafeteria--the one in which my previous employment is entirely documented in this LJ. It will not be the same job by a long shot, however. That job isn't even there anymore, and neither are any of the people. Apparently (according to everyone I know who worked there when I did) it is not quite so pleasant a place anymore.... I have not been informed of my schedule yet, nor what exactly I'll be doing, but I will probably be mostly wiping tables. This begins Monday. Can't say I'm entirely thrilled. Not exactly unhappy, either. Whatever.
Anyway. Bedtime.
Current Mood:  bitchy
Current Music: the a/c
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October 21st, 2009
04:07 pm - Pulling Something Out
I just drove home behind a group of eight or nine kids who'd just been dropped off a schoolbus. They were probably about 7th grade or so.... A few of them turned, took one look at my car, and turned back around and continued walking in the middle of the road (and very slowly, might I add). Some were even dancing, as if to say I could sit there as long as they pleased. Some didn't even bother to look. I just continued driving (though very slowly) and thinking, I really think you're underestimating how much I do not like kids; I will fucking run you over. They did eventually move over, but they took their time about it. Assholes.
Quote of the day today: Okay, so we've got this guy at work who I'm kind of afraid of because he never smiles or speaks or anything. I think he's just extremely shy and quiet, but he makes me nervous, anyway. He's an older guy, like 40ish. He came through my line today and took out some cash. He sifted through change for a moment and then stuck his hand in his pocket. I thought he was about to get more change, but after a moment of nothing happening, he gave me an odd look and I said nervously as I took his cash, "Oh sorry, I thought you were going to pull something out." Then to top things off, I dropped some of his change (like a dime or something) on the floor while handing it to him.
Quote of the day on Monday (there wasn't one on Tuesday): So we had these uniforms come in Monday and Tuesday, around 50 cops and fire rescue (and some of them were even hot!). I said to Rachel at one point, "Is it bad that I'm turned on by those handcuffs on his belt?" She said no because those dudes were actually cute. Then we had this whole conversation about handcuffs and how cops will put hands in front or behind while making an arrest depending on the level of the crime. Rachel said, "Like if you and I were to do something, it would probably be in the front." Yeah, fortunately or unfortunately, nobody ever thinks about how this stuff sounds until after it's been said.
I just found out The Mormon's got to work a double shift today. (It was supposed to be the day we get to hang out for a couple hours.) He had to cover for someone. So I guess I'll be online quite a bit tonight.
Oh, this morning was funny--he jumped out of bed when my alarm went off and went over to the alarm, stood there for a minute, finally turned it off, and then went to the closet and instantly started getting dressed. (This is 4:30 in the morning, by the way.) I said, "Uh, dear? I'm not sure you're completely awake right now." He paused a moment, started getting undressed (I don't even know what he thought he was going to wear; it looked like jeans) and said, "I think you're right, honey. I'm not completely awake right now. Not at all." I love when he does stuff in his sleep; it's very entertaining.
Current Mood:  amused
Current Music: "Friend of Mine" - Lily Allen
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October 18th, 2009
06:18 pm - Shoes, Commas, and Cartoons
The Mormon made me try on cute shoes yesterday while we were out, and then he wouldn't let me buy them! I seriously almost cried. (Probably a little bit of PMS there.) There was a long argument about it before he went to PetSmart and left me in the shoe store to browse. I honestly considered buying a pair and stuffing the box into my bag so he wouldn't know until I wore them. I've never had a shoe fetish or anything but suddenly I find myself wanting all kinds of shoes! I made a bookmarks list of the ones from FamousFootwear, where we were yesterday, that I like. He told me I need to just save my money; I told him I'd already saved at least $300 from my last paycheck, and probably closer to $400. He wasn't buying it.
I've been feeling like such a failure lately. I think I'm just depressed (again). And I don't really want to talk to my counselor about that, either. Though I'm sure it will come up eventually. Yay.
I was remembering this conversation from a few years ago between my best friends; the one was all happy because she'd just received her first "comma" (her paycheck was over $1,000). The other replied, "Yeah, it feels good, doesn't it?" And I just sat there like, thanks, I think I'll go outside now and let you guys chat. Everybody I know gets commas every paycheck and I've never seen one. The Mormon was talking last night about me finding a "career" instead of a job. Where the fuck am I supposed to find one of those?
Ha...the other day I was watching an old movie at home (The Parent Trap, my mom's favorite) and remarked to Alan how nice it was to be able to sit there and watch that and feel relaxed about it, because if I'd tried to do that at my parents' house I would have been yelled at for it. See, my dad has this thing where watching the same movie more than once or reading the same book more than once will anger him. I don't know how many times we (my mom, my sister, and I) have been yelled at for that. Though I guess I was usually on edge over there anyway. Kind of hard to relax at all in an environment like that.
On a slightly brighter subject, I discussed with Rachel the other day at work that even though Philip is obviously the hottest of the Disney princes, I always felt that if I were to choose one of those characters to marry, it would be Roger (101 Dalmatians). Honestly, he's more my type...kind of nerdy. Haha. Sort of a weird subject but a fun thing to consider when you're a very bored child.
Current Mood:  sad
Current Music: laundry
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October 15th, 2009
04:33 pm - Attack!
I avoided being accosted by fundies on Monday, but today it happened. At work, of all places.
It started well enough. I thought he was just a very friendly/flirty guy; we have many of them every day. This guy was not a regular, however; I had never seen him before. He paid for his food and then continued standing there eating while I made someone who is a regular some tater tots. I just figured he was bored, and that if things got really "flirty" or whatever, I'd flash my ring at him once the gloves were off, casually drop my husband into the conversation, yadda yadda, and drive him away. He told the regular and me that his name was Kenny and asked what ours were; we both shared. And then he asked us if we knew who the most important person in the history of the world was, and that was when I saw where this was all going. I became very unresponsive, though as polite as possible since I have to abide by the whole "the customer is always right" thing. (The regular got the hell out of there as quickly as possible while he started telling me about Jesus Christ.)
The guy actually tried to sell me on the fact that evolution never happened...something like, "I mean, scientists try to tell us about a bunch of monkeys?" (I don't know for sure; I wasn't really listening.) He tried to ask if I could tell him who the first man on the planet was. I shrugged while I was busying myself with other things. He told me the first man was Adam and then asked if I believed that. I said no; he asked why, and I said because that was a faerie tale.
My next line was to be that I could not discuss this at work and that he needed to drop it or just go; fortunately, Rachel came out at just that moment and asked me with her eyes if I needed help, and I informed her with mine that I did, so she motioned me to the back. As I started walking that way, the fundie asked where I was going, and I said I had things to do. He sounded very disappointed. I smiled and went on my way. And that was basically that.
Seriously, those assholes need to learn how to use their fucking brains. I mean, really? Monkeys? Adam? Even when I was a Christian I didn't believe that shit.
Apart from that it was a pretty average day. But tomorrow is Friday, which makes that awesome.
Current Mood:  annoyed
Current Music: the Bumblebee Tuna jingle (nonstop!)
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October 13th, 2009
05:05 am - I Don't Want to Sound Cold
It appears that my Juvenile Justice class is made up of a bunch of hateful, prejudiced conservatives. There's this one girl who appears to be your stereotypical sorority bitch...she got every question right on the test and always knows every answer in class, always kissing the teacher's ass and apparently had his class before...unfortunately she can't pronounce the word "Jaguar." (She says "Jagwire." Oh...she's the same one who didn't know who James Dean was, by the way.)
The guy who appears to be her best friend told us a story last night; he said it was in the paper a couple months ago. Apparently this other guy was shot ("Was he killed?" the teacher asked. He was.) through the side and out the stomach...because he was selling pot. (Not cocaine, but pot, the teacher clarified.) This guy said this was a friend of his, though he did not appear to care one bit about the fact that he was dead. He "didn't want to sound cold," but his opinion was he just shouldn't have been doing what he was doing, plain and simple. "I've never smoked pot in my life and I'm never going to," this guy said. "He just shouldn't have done it, and that's all there is to it."
Fortunately my teacher believed that pot should be legalized, because if he hadn't I probably would have started bitching someone out in a couple moments. Teacher said, "If you legalize it, people won't need to die for it anymore."
"And a lot less people will be in jail for it," Alan said later when I told him about this.
"Yeah," I said, "exactly. He said that too."
Then (in class) there was basically a debate over whether boys should be allowed to have piercings or long hair and whether girls should be allowed to have tattoos. My teacher kept saying, "When I was in school, these things just didn't happen."
One dude spoke up: "If I'd ever come up with an earring, my father would have ripped it out--and not this way [indicating straight out] but this way [indicating down through the lobe]."
Then there was a discussion about parking and Mr. Do Pot and Die told us how he parks his truck at the back of the parking lot so nobody scratches it because he's just paranoid that way.
They appear to be all a bunch of homophobes and the like. I was getting kind of antsy because I didn't know how long I was going to be able to not bitch somebody out.
Then my teacher was talking about how he wants to go on a field trip to the jail to show us the...I think he said 6th floor?...and all the oxygen thieves residing up there. Oh joy. I fear I could throw up.
Current Mood:  grumpy/disgusted
Current Music: "Him" - Lily Allen (I think this has been in my head since dreamtime.)
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October 10th, 2009
11:12 am - Fun with Pixie Dust
My husband and I had a very serious conversation while out to dinner last night, basically about how I will have to work a whole lot wherever we go because he will be so very occupied with school and all. I guess I must have looked more than a little depressed because he said more than once, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I tried to explain to him that I don't want to go somewhere that I'm going to have to depend on work to get me through life. I want a life in addition to work. I don't fucking care about money; I don't need to live in a mansion to be happy. I just need enough to get by, and job enough so that it does not take over life completely. But it looks like I don't really have an option if I ever want to get out of Florida (which now might not even happen because it looks like Alan is considering going even further south...I thought he hated Florida as much as I do). Yeah, at this point I don't think England will ever be a possibility. Now I just want to go somewhere with seasons.
I know this is horrible, but I'm actually sort of jealous of my husband. He'll be heading to school to get a creative writing degree, which is pretty much what I've always wanted, and I know I don't have what it takes to get through grad school or even get into grad school.... I suppose I shouldn't really even be thinking about this. I'm happy for him, anyway. I like the fact that he's done so much for himself from where he was. I just wish I could.... I kind of feel like a failure.
Off the subject, I heard the song "Forever Young" on the radio the other day and it reminded me of that old movie, which came out when I was like 4, and that is when I saw it. I don't remember a whole lot about it except that it scared the fuck out of me. And I don't think it was intended as a scary movie at all, was it? I just think it's funny the kinds of things that can scare little kids and not adults. Didn't they freeze Mel Gibson in that movie? In a big coffin-type thing? And then he ages very rapidly at the end. Yeah--horrifying. (And that was not sarcasm.)
Yesterday at work my friend brought us Pixie Stix. We had a lot of fun with those. At one point we were pretending to be cokeheads, just to make ourselves laugh. There was another time when this one customer (whom we find very, very annoying) came in and told me I looked very happy.
"Yeah," I said, "that's because I just had a whole lot of Pixie Stix!"
He looked very confused. (He is an older dude.) "What?" he said.
"I just ate a lot of Pixie Stix!"
The confused look remained on his face as he said, "And that does what, exactly? Make you very, very happy?"
"Yeah!" I told him.
Later on we were dancing--no, at this moment only I was dancing. I danced across the floor from the register to the grill, and then I started rocking out over by the grill, holding a Pixie Stik as a microphone.
"Uh...you do know that there's a customer sitting directly across from us who can see all of this, right?" Rachel said.
I froze and turned to look out the entrance into the sitting area with all the tables. There was indeed one of our regulars sitting there eating with a completely straight face. I grinned and waved. He smiled and waved back. And then Rachel and I just cracked up.
This guy is one half of the two customers we call "The Couple" because they are the only married couple who come to eat with us. He was actually the one the other day whom I went up to after Rachel and I had been rocking out again to "When a Man Loves a Woman" (we get really bored at work) and said, "You didn't see anything, right?" and he replied, "Just you two singing." He just tends to appear behind us when we're singing and dancing around the cafe.
I am really craving those boneless buffalo wings we had at Applebee's last night...man. But I really do need to go work out now.
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: "Parents Just Don't Understand" - Will Smith
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October 6th, 2009
06:18 pm - Work Stories (and More)
I complained to Rachel about the bitch I met at the catering thing the other day. Rachel knows her, as I expected she would. Apparently she really is a bitch--Rachel told me when they and some other girls all worked at a restaurant together as waitresses, the bitch and some other girl were keeping their own private tip jar. Rachel said they finally found it and took it to their manager and said, "Yeah, we just found this, not sure what it is..." and were allowed to split it among themselves, as they should have been doing all along.
Speaking of work, I had a customer come in yesterday and show me a handful of coins.... I heard her say something about Susan B. Anthony and figured she was referring to one of those new quarters. It didn't even occur to me it might be a dollar; I didn't think those were even around anymore. But it was! It was a Susan B. Anthony dollar! I've never seen one before! I was so excited after that, and trying to keep that hidden from this lady who wanted me to tell her which coin was that one so that she could spend it right then instead of hanging on to it and accidentally spending it as a quarter sometime later on. But I was determined to have it. I slipped four quarters into the drawer and replaced it with them so that I could. It was from 1979, which Rachel and I discussed as seeming so long ago, even though it was only six years before we were born.
I shared that with Alan later and he said, "Yes, dear, I know. That's the year I was born."
"Oh," I replied sheepishly, "I knew there was something significant about that year!"
Off the subject, I had a test in Juvenile Justice yesterday. One of my questions was, "What are the three elements of the 'crime triangle'?" I immediately thought two of them would be victim and perpetrator, though that seemed much too easy, and plus I couldn't think of a third one to go with that, so eventually I gave up on what turned out to be the real answer (the third element was location) and wrote a bullshit one for fun: right, obtuse, and acute.
I told Alan about this later and he replied, "Well, you're acute."
I just thought that was so cute.
Rachel told me today that she wants her relationship to be like the way I speak about Alan--that is her ideal relationship.
Rachel also said at work yesterday (after admitting to me that she has never seen Indiana Jones, Star Wars, The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and I'm sure many other greats) that she has at least read The Hobbit. "I tried to read the second one, too," she said, "but I got bored with it because they just kept on walking and walking...."
I told her that was the quote of the day, and when I shared it with Alan later, he laughed and said, "Well, it is a fairly accurate assessment!"
I like when work is actually fun.
Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: "Peaceful" - Helen Reddy
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October 4th, 2009
11:30 am - Work Bitching
I detest those people who think their jobs are so important that they just can't get their heads out of their asses. Like this girl I saw on Friday (I never really "met" her).... She had these great pants that perfectly framed her perfect, perfect ass, and she had a perfect face, and absolutely perfect hair which she had dyed the tips of black. And of course all the other important people at work were all like, "Ohh, I'm so happy to see you, it's been so long!" *hugs* And, "Ohh, your hair just looks amazing!" Of course when I tried to speak to her, in my minimum wage t-shirt, she was just like, "Hm? What? I don't know what you're talking about." Though she perked right back up when some guy asked her her name. I disliked her fairly quickly. Why are so many people such assholes?
I was working a 14.5-hour straight day on Friday and not in a very good mood. I don't think I'm going to do that again. Not that I really did all that much of anything, but I didn't get much chance to sit down in all that time either, so...yeah.
Rachel and I did have a lot of fun at work on Friday. There were less than 60 customers the entire day, so we had lots of time for fooling around. There was much dancing involved.
I really need to get my hair trimmed; I'm afraid to, though, because the last time I did the girl cut it way shorter than I had agreed to. (I think this was the same girl who fucked up my eyebrows that one time, too....)
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: "When I Write the Book" - Rockpile
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September 30th, 2009
05:59 pm - Shoutout to a True Friend
I was a little upset last night and talking to my friend Sammie, who told me that anytime I need to I may call, text, or email or whatever her and that she always has time for me. I was very touched by that. That's a true friend. (I feel this way about other friends too, of course, but I just wanted to make note of this particular comment because it was very sweet.)
I was going to write more but now I'm too tired to write about anything. Going to sign off for now. But thanks, Sammie.
Current Mood:  touched
Current Music: "You Raise Me Up" - Josh Groban
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September 23rd, 2009
08:49 pm - Emergency Situation, A Rant, and a Job
While sitting on my couch earlier and trying to make faces to freak out the cat (it didn't work), I could have sworn I heard a scream from outside, and then a girl's voice scream, "Please!" and "Kara! Kara!" I peeked ever so cautiously out of the blinds. Nothing. So I relaxed until a moment later there was what sounded like very desperate knocking at the front door. I froze, uncertain at first whether I should answer it. After a brief consideration, I got up and ran to the door.
It was the upstairs neighbor, looking for some sort of ID card to borrow because she somehow locked herself out of her apartment.
I don't know what I was hearing, but then again it was my hearing, which seems worse and worse these days, and it was outside, so...probably nothing.
I was angry at the cat, by the way, because he threw up on the floor (which is white carpet). And I had to clean it up. So not pleasant.
On a different subject completely, I was texting the other day (which I do much more than I talk on the phone because I almost never do that) and realized I get very annoyed with those people who bitch about how we need to do away with texting because it's so impersonal and it isn't the same as letter writing, and we need to get rid of e-mail for the same reasons...and my thought is, of course these things are not the same. They aren't meant to be. I am not at all against actual letter-writing--very for it, actually. But there is a time and a place. When it needs to be personal, okay, then there is a reason to handwrite a letter. But now that we have the means, and not every single message has to be the most personal thing ever written, we can write e-mail when it is appropriate as well (which is much more frequently than actual letter-writing). And texting...it's supposed to be the next best thing to talking on the phone. It is. An awful lot of people are terrified talking on the phone, especially when it's in public (which is often rude, anyway). Texting saves them from the agony. Again, there is a time and a place for drawn-out conversations. If all you needed to say to someone was, "got your drycleaning stains all gone lolz" then you really didn't need to call them anyway. I'm just saying. Those people who think they know what's best for everyone and want to completely eliminate a really fantastic convenience because they're too old-fashioned to appreciate it...they can go to hell. Rant complete.
So last Friday at work (I'm now going in at 8:00 in the morning which requires getting up at 4:30--ask if you want me to explain that to you, but I've done so too many times to feel like writing it up here at the moment) the phone rang. I'm the one who's supposed to answer the phones when at all possible, so I did, and it just so happened to be for me. It was one of the other bosses, from one of the other businesses on campus--the catering one, to be precise. They needed people for an event that night and wanted to know if I'd be interested. I figured I couldn't say no and said yes. This required me working for 14.5 hours total that day and only sitting down for two brief half-hour breaks during that entire time. I was completely exhausted--though, if I hadn't been working since 8 that morning, I think I really might have enjoyed it. Not a very dependable job, of course, since you can only cater when someone hires you to. I got to wear one of those tux shirts with the little bow ties.... I kept thinking of that show Party Down the entire time. Haha.
There was this other guy who was also a noob, and they left the two of us alone in a room with those shirts and an iron and a teeny ironing board, and it took us about 15 minutes to figure out why the iron wasn't heating up...we were very amused by it. (I don't remember the reason, but it was certainly not because it wasn't plugged in or anything obvious like that--I checked.)
Well, since I got a bit distracted and should be in bed by now anyway, I'll end this here.
Current Mood:  geeky
Current Music: "Helpless" - Sugar
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September 12th, 2009
04:44 pm - Subconscious Unleashed: Dr. Who in Wonderland and a Really Stupid Kid
Beginning with last night, I've had some interesting dreams recently.
Guess I'll start with the creepy as hell Dr. Who one. (And that would be the Tennant Doctor, my favorite one.) This one's been freaking me out all day every time I think about it. So The Doctor is driving around a handful of people--probably on a bus, though I'm not sure, and of course this all comes from the episode we watched before bed last night in which he and a handful of people were riding around on a bus. Anyway. We're riding around basically touring a freaky alternate-universe neighborhood of sorts, which resembles some sort of Stepford Wives neighborhood. And that's not even the freaky part. The freaky part is that each street of the neighborhood is an exact replica of the street that one person on the tour grew up on. (Though the street and house that were supposed to be mine I had never actually seen before, so I suppose they were just invented by my subconscious.)
Each house formerly or even still belonging to a member of the tour was, in this universe, occupied by a very strange person, though I think the point was that these were not actual human beings. I think they were supposed to be demons or something along those lines. Whatever they were, they were fucking creepy. The one who stood in front of my house was a white dude who may have had a little Indian in him, with dark curly hair and very wide, brown eyes. That's really the best I can describe him. Not someone I had ever seen before. He stood profile to me so I could see him staring off in the distance...just staring...but not at me. The Doctor mentioned that we really didn't want them to ever look right at us. He never said why....
Each house had a poem of sorts spray-painted on the front of it. The one on mine I have been trying to remember since I was asleep. (Have you ever noticed how trying to retain a dream memory is like trying to hold onto something slippery? It's like more and more of it disappears each second.) So I'm not sure I have it completely correct, but what I think I can remember was this:
Try what you try
Do what you do
Eat what you eat
Yet
Nothing stays the same.
It also might have been "nothing is the same," or it might not have been either one of those. But unless I could somehow revert back into this dream, I think that's as good as it's going to get. Creepy. That could have so many meanings.
I knew I had to stay by The Doctor's side at all times because I was aware that whatever happened while in the vicinity of this neighborhood, he was the only one who could keep me safe.
Unfortunately, at some point in this dream (I think we were grocery shopping), I feel asleep. When I awoke again, I found myself in my bizarro house, lying on a cushion of some sort out in the middle of the living room. No idea how I had gotten there, and of course The Doctor was nowhere around. After a few seconds to wake up, I realized where I was and became extremely frightened. (I think there may have been someone else with me, sleeping on another cushion or something...some younger girl who had been sort of following me around on this "tour"...though I'm not really certain.)
The inside of the house looked different than it had been when I lived there...this demon-person and his family (also freaky demon-people) had set it up to look like a perfectly normal house, just different than ours had been.
Suddenly I saw Demon Guy walking around near the kitchen/living room doorway, in a slow, awkward manner. A young girl (one of his children) was wandering around the living room in the same odd, creepy manner. So far it seemed that neither had noticed me, and I was trying to lie as still as possible so that this would continue. I was terrified and I wanted the damn Doctor! And I laid there trying to come up with some way to get myself out of the house and find him without alerting these demon-people....
I'm not sure how it ended. Unfortunately (because no matter how freaky, I love good, detailed dreams!) the dream changed before it could. *Sigh.*
I had another dream, this one not so frightening, but (in my opinion) quite funny and uplifting. It seemed that for some reason, Alan and I had been going to Wendy's each morning for a while (I was of course refusing to eat anything at all as I do not eat fast food), but there we were, and some other couple who had also been coming in each morning for a while suddenly joined us at our table. We were having a very liberal, left-wing sort of conversation (I was reading a liberal newspaper that the guy had placed in front of me), when there was suddenly a deep male voice from the table behind me:
"Oh my gosh! There is a conversation going on right here that is obviously about homosexuals!" (I don't remember if it was or not.) "I can't believe no one is putting up a fuss about this! Seriously!"
Infuriated, I turned around and discovered that this voice was coming from the mouth of a kid who appeared to be around 6 or 8 years old--a really stupid-looking fat kid stuffing his face full of french fries and seated at a table with his mother, who appeared equally horrified by the possibility that we might be speaking of homosexuals.
Still infuriated, I said to the kid, "And what exactly is wrong with that and how is it any of your business?"
The kid said, "It's a SIN against GOD!!!!"
"Can you even explain what that means?" I said.
The kid opened his mouth, stuttered unintelligibly, and then stared back down at his french fries.
"Yeah. That's what I thought," I said, and the conversation was over.
I woke up.
I'll take care of the other dreams later--going out for dinner with the in-laws!
Current Mood: resigned
Current Music: "This Whole World" - The Beach Boys
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September 1st, 2009
08:20 pm - Long Day at Work and Lots of Dreams
Still no cash register today. Also we were busier than I've ever seen it there. And my supervisor/coworker did not get any sleep last night. We fucking need a grill cook, seriously. Then that person could stand there and do the cooking while Rachel does her work in the back and I stand at the register (or the notepad and calculator, whichever tools I'm using that day). If it keeps getting as busy as it was today, it needs to happen.
This morning I was listening to a Simple Plan song that I think is called "Grow Up" but which has been on my iPod as "My Christmas List" forever. (Some issue with the CD.) And for just an instant I was struck by the idea that kids aren't just total idiots; they're humans too, humans who have been faced with the knowledge that their entire lives, lives they've known for probably around 14 years now (and nothing else), are about to change and there's nothing they can do about that. That's what being a kid is about; it's about being averse to change and trying to preserve life as you know it, happiness, freedom, etc., because all of that is about to disappear. They're changing into other people who won't have any of that. It's kind of sad, really.
( On a totally different subject... )
Current Mood:  restless
Current Music: "Mayor of Simpleton" - XTC
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August 31st, 2009
10:16 pm - Stupid Freshmen, Scary Drivers, and Faulty Registers
I don't understand when Christians talk about how they are "continually amazed by God" and the like. This one girl I know posted three Facebook status messages within 20 minutes of each other tonight, each of which said "God is good" (two of which statements were followed with little hearts), and one of which said, "I just love God. Every day he amazes me more and more." I genuinely don't get this; not trying to be a jerk here. What is there to amaze and wow them all the time? Just throwing that out there.
Today at work Rachel and I were discussing the fact that some of the current college freshmen completely missed the '80s. I hadn't considered that before. That is a little scary. I can't believe I'm that old already.
Which reminds me, in my Juvenile Justice class today, the teacher was discussing emulation and how a lot of times kids will see something "bad" on TV and want to...well, emulate it. As an example he made reference to James Dean. One girl who I'm pretty sure was a freshman (and also a sorority-type) replied to this with, "Isn't that the one who always wore the leather jacket?" Imagine that being said in a ditzy, totally clueless voice. Yes, I was horrified as well.
I was also horrified this afternoon when I got on one of the shuttle buses on campus with the worst driver. Actually, I heard people joking about her on the shuttle I was on last week and knew exactly who they were discussing because I have been on her bus before. And the people on her bus today were all grinning at each other and making jokes that I guess she was completely oblivious to. (Someone actually said, "Back to the Future!" I was pleased.) But this woman, every time she stops or starts, there's a horrible jerk...when she turns corners, it seriously feels like the entire bus is going to go rolling...etc. She seems like a nice enough person; I just don't think she needs to be driving a bus.
Oh! Yeah! Okay so I got home about 9 tonight. Alan was walking around the neighborhood; the cat was lying comfortably asleep on the living room floor. I went to the bathroom and came out in our bedroom, which was mostly dark except for the light shining from the bathroom. I momentarily saw Alan--just his arm, really--walking from our room out into the hallway and screamed loudly because I never heard him come in in the two minutes I was in the bathroom and was so taken aback.
That wasn't the scary part, however. The scary part was when I waited a second for him to chuckle in response to my shriek and he didn't, and I went out to the hallway and saw that he wasn't actually there. I checked back in our room and he wasn't there either. And Oscar was still asleep in his spot on the floor. I actually put my back against the wall just momentarily. I didn't know if someone had broken in or if there was seriously a ghost in my apartment or what (though I figured either would have alerted the cat), but eventually I concluded that somehow I had imagined the whole thing. I'll chalk it up to a long day. (I was hallucinating stuff over the weekend; it was fun then. This was creepy.)
Alan is convinced that I saw the mirror in our closet door straight across from the bathroom door; I really don't think it was that for the reasons that what I specifically saw was an arm, too large to be my arm, to the side of the bathroom door and thus not in range of the closet mirror, and there was also the fact that I was standing still in the bathroom door while this was moving out of the room. He thought I just saw my shirt or something, but I wasn't wearing a white shirt at the time, I was wearing my navy blue work shirt; the arm I saw was very light.
The register went down at work today. That was so not fun. I just didn't like doing all the math in front of people when usually I have a machine to do it for me. I guess technically I still had a machine to do it for me, but this one made me push all the right buttons and...well...I guess I have to do that with the register, too. This one just made me have to be more alert, I'll put it that way. And then I shall end this topic because I'm not really sure where to take it.
Current Mood:  anxious
Current Music: "Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
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August 24th, 2009
07:18 pm - Carelessness, Idiocy, and a Generally Good Day
I just got through sending e-mails begging forgiveness of both my professors for missing my very first classes today. I won't use any names (*cough*MORMON*cough*), but somebody told me classes were starting next week, and even provided me with a date that signified next week, or at least later than today so that I was not even concerned about missing anything today. That is until The Mormon asked me a few minutes ago why I was not now in class. Hopefully neither of these teachers (whom I have never had before) have any sort of strict attendance policy where if you miss the first class you can't ever return. I thanked them both very much for their understanding.
Fortunately I was not so careless concerning my new job, which also started today. It really was a lot easier than I was expecting, or at least today it was because it was so slow. I'm hoping it continues as such. I really don't want something too stressful right now.
Oh, get this. This is kind of amusing in its level of idiocy. I have read A Little Princess a total of I think 16 times. I guess I'd say it's one of my favorite books, though I have not read it since around the age of 12. I also saw the movie when it came out--also around the age of 12. It was okay, though I was always kind of annoyed by the ending, when Sara's father came back. I mean, I thought it was nice and all, but that just wasn't how it was done in the book. In the book, the mysterious "Indian gentleman" came to pick up her and her friend and take them away. That always confused me slightly when I read the book as a child, but I always just figured, Whatever. Her father's dead, so this nice stranger is going to rescue her instead. And it annoyed me that the movie tried to change that.
A week or so ago I was sitting on my couch randomly pondering all this, when it suddenly struck me that the Indian gentleman was Sara's father! Somehow I missed this in all 16 of my readings. I don't know how. But I instantly got off the couch and ran over to my bookshelf to grab this book and look at all the subtle hints I had somehow missed before, and he totally is. The Indian gentleman is so obviously Sara's father; I just don't know how I could have not seen this before. Anyway, I think that's enough of an excuse to go ahead and read the book over again like I've been wanting to for a while now.
Oh, another days-old story, this one very cute. Apparently my six-year-old niece Caitlyn really, really likes me (I'm like a favorite aunt now, I guess--yay!--not that she has a whole lot of options, but anyway) and one night she even told her mom (my sis-in-law Natalie) when Natalie was going to hang with me that she wanted to hang out with me too! Aww! And then the last time I saw her, after I gave her a big hug, she looked at me with utter seriousness and said, "I have to ask you: Do you really like me?"
I looked at her with equal seriousness and said, "Of course!"
She said, "Good, because I really like you too."
Aww! See! I don't need to have kids, because I can just have nieces and nephews and then have all my other time off and everything will be fine and dandy and others will wish they had it as good as me.
I know there were other things I wanted to write about, and of course now I cannot remember what any of them were. I really do need to make LJ lists, because otherwise things just get left out. *Sigh.* Well whatever. Until next time. Hopefully next times will be more frequent--I really am trying.
Current Mood:  sick
Current Music: "Now or Never" - Josh Groban (and also The Mormon playing video games--he makes lots of sound effects during these processes)
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